Hidden Talents of Humans.

“Has your CPU crashed?” roared the mech, eyes glowing white. “You could have deactivated yourself! Do you want to die?”

Brawn’s and Trailbreaker’s voices came as background static to her ears as she spit out the last of the water and wiped at her eyes.

“Oh, please!” she snapped, shivering in the open air. “You were the one moaning about how filthy I am!”

“Since when does stating the fact that you stink translate into ‘drown yourself’?! You could have killed Sideswipe!”

“Sideswipe could have killed me! If your moron of a brother could stop bodysnatching for five minutes, I would have been perfectly fine! You’ve been to Earth, haven’t you? Don’t either of you know that humans can swim?”

The abrupt, blank look upon the mech’s face informed her that this particular fact had managed to escape him. The sudden silence at the back of her mind revealed that Sideswipe was likewise unaware. Evelyn snorted.

“Jesus. All this because you sink like a rock,” she muttered. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Sunshine...”

Do try and control yourself, she growled at the voice. I’m taking a bath, and God help you if you say I’m not!

The water was only a couple meters below her, and she pushed herself over the edge of the yellow mech’s hand, plunging back into the pool. This time, the pleasant rush of hot water was met with a faint trembling in her limbs before Sideswipe retreated.


Excerpt from On the Care and Feeding of Humans, Chapter 8: Hygiene, by

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This is a scene from On the Care and Feeding of Humans, a side story to 's Transformers fanfic Juxtapostion.

This chapter kept me smiling all week. I had to draw something for it.

Autobots didn't know humans could swim and Trailbreaker and Brawn acting all Mother Hen-ish to Evelyn while Sunstreaker couldn't give a damn.

Evelyn is property of

Trailbreaker, Brawn, and Sunstreaker are all property of Hasbro.